Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Blog Events, Guest Post and Giveaway with Jake Bannerman

Hello and welcome to CEWTNK! If you are here for the Spooktacular Giveaway Hop please click Here
If you are stalking the Hide N Go Seek barrage, please click Here.  For everybody else please help me welcome Jake Bannerman!  He is joining us during this fine month of  fright to discuss his outlook on fear.  Take it away Jake...
The Fear we all Fear


Hot, sticky and so right. As your breath beats upon her neck, as she moans in your ear, her hands tugging at your pants as you push her bra down and your tongue explores her hard nipples…The adrenaline, the rugged sloppiness of it as her spit is all over your face and her teeth sink into your skin; this is the hottest moment you have ever had.

Your bodies swim in each other’s ocean and your mouths press together, speaking volumes in a language we all know, but the communication is fast and hard. The bruises and bite marks are a sign of how intense this is as you push your cock deep inside her and her body arches, her breast thrusting towards your hungry mouth; this, my friend, is how you fuck.

Well, I am right; we have all been there. Sloppy, downright rugby sex – it’s hot, it’s full of insane passions and we never even take the time to consider that we are creating any number of horrors...

No, not like a vampire, a zombie or even a werewolf! But let’s look at the number one fear that ALL of us have gone through and we can branch out into the multiplicities of grandiose horror your sexual fantasies can cause. This is going to make you think about me every time you fuck from now on and that shit is HOT!!!

So, what could possibly be horrifying about sloppy sex in all positions on a slip and slide full of guacamole?! Ready for insane, gut-wrenching fear number one?

1.      Three weeks...need I say more? For those of you who happen to not understand what three weeks refers to, let me fill you in on a LITTLE SECRET, okay? There is ONE time and ONE time only we want you to bleed - and that is approximately three weeks after we bust a nut in you. Can anyone reading this right now disagree with me?

How is this related to horror, you might ask?

Can you imagine telling your parents at the age of fourteen that not only did you decide to have sex, but that it WORKED?! No? My point is proved.

Listen, now; my favorite thing to do is take situations we all have been in - or could be in - and turn them into what none of us are willing to admit they are; and that is completely fucking terrifying! I have lived that three weeks more than once in my life; and it is scary - REAL scary.

So, listen; this may not make you want to buy my books, and probably will not make you like me or think I am clever. However, it will give you something to think about next time you slide it in, and I think this should be printed out and passed out to Junior High students!
So, can you take unbelievable fear number two?

2.      You might die! That is correct, my sexual friend; your fandango with lust may have been your last. Somebody thought it would be funny to make one of our natural desires into an invitation to death - and if you look closely, it’s not just sex. Look at the things we need to continue to live. Breathing (air pollution anyone?) Eating (fat-ass Americans, much?) So, we cannot breathe, eat and now we are not allowed to fuck...IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION? God is trying to kill us off because we are a mistake! Seriously, no human could have come up with this fucking story!

Want to learn more about the reason why God would want to kill us all and the reason the Devil exists?
My trilogy of books ‘The Family of Dog’ is ALL about exactly that! The first book in the series comes out this Christmas. It’s called ‘The Harvest’ and it talks about how big of a mistake mankind is, and we find out just how far mankind will go when eighteen people sue the devil for their souls back after they are disappointed with the results. Well, let’s just say that the Devil raises Hell, and as a consequence we find out some interesting things about the Bible and the good guy God we never knew...

Listen, you could keep reading this or go have some sloppy fuck fest instead - I say go fuck!

Remember that Pleasures of the Flesh are FUN!
Hmm...well everyone will take something else out of that opinionated teaser..LOL..I truely don't think you will cross my mind Jake the next time I decide to get nasty:)  But the book does sound great and so does this one!  Up for grabs, in honor of being a true horror fan is Jake's book, The Pitchfork Diaries.  Take a look..

The Pitchfork Diaries is a collection of short stories and prose unlike anything you have ever read before. Even the darkest and most violent imaginings of your mind cannot come close to matching the horrors contained within.

J.S. Bannerman, a new name in the horror genre, has skilfully woven a collection of tales that will inescapably work their way into your psyche, take up residence and relentlessly haunt you. Prepare yourself to be confronted by words that will threaten to shake the foundation of everything you thought you knew; no truth is too uncomfortable, no thought too gruesome to share.
Just comment and leave an email address where I can reach you if you win and you are entered!
+1 for asking Jake a question just because I'd love to know after reading this, what your thoughts are!!


Lisa said...

I hate being first thanks for the giveaway lisapeters at yahoo dot com Happy Halloween ... BOO!

Pommawolf Emeraldwolfeyes said...

Thank you for the win of wonderful book f The Calling from Close Encounters with the Night Kind!!
I can't wait to read it!
Thank you again!
pommawolf @hotmail.com

msmjb65 said...

It is a rare thing to hear a man admit to the 3 week fear. It makes sense, of course, but when I was a much younger and definitely much dumber woman, I took my future for granted every time I had sex au natural without a thought. No excuse, really, but these were the "carefree" pre-HIV days, but wait to judge until you finish reading.
Today's my bday, actually, so those days were a long,long time ago, but diseases still abounded back then as many of us remember all too well.

Another twist on the 14 year old telling his/her parents that the sex worked is the same 14 year old girl lying to her parents saying that this was the first time she ever had sex and, oops, she didn't get pregnant, but she got gonnorhea. Ah, my poor, poor parents! All these many years later, I somewhat regret the constant lying about where I was, who I was with and certainly what I was NOT supposed to be doing. But what is a too young, but too mature girl to do? NOT be a dumb teenager and abstain? Not in my lifetime!

Jake- you're snarky words are very true and totally funny! I don't need the 3 week fear or to set my self up for the last fuck of my life, but I will say this...I'll take a sloppy fuck over neat and pretty any day of the week!
Thanks for telling the truth in such graphic detail...
msmjb65 AT gmail DOT com

ikkinlala said...

I'm not sure if Canadians may enter, but this has me intrigued - a lot of horror books seem more funny than scary, but this has the potential to get at real fears.

How much background knowledge of the Bible would be necessary to understand your trilogy?

ikkinlala AT yahoo DOT ca

Maegan Morin said...

Thanks for the giveaway!

megnate at telus dot net

Carol L. said...

Wow, that was different. I'm intrigued now JS. Would love to read this ans so it's on my TRL.
Do you just write Horror or other genres ? GFC name is Lucky47
Carol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com


Hey everyone!
Jake here and thank you for the comments!
I'll try and answer a few questions.
Knowledge of the bible needed to understand
The Family of Dog series very little, it's enjoyable
Either way :)
Real fears yes I focus on real fears! Though I actually
In person a funny guy there are no laughs in my books
It is true horror that hits you in the brain.
I love Canadians! Let's give the Canadian a book!
Last but not least sex is great in any way shape or form
Dirty slutty clean and pretty I love it!
You all rawk!!
Six six sex,


Oh I missed one! Someone asked if I only write horror.
At this time and for the near future yes. However I do have a comedy
Book called "Super Elastic Devil Plastic" in the list of upcoming books
As well as an erotica book called "Chanel No. 5 and burning feathers"
So yes and no :b
Six six sex,

kayla said...

This looks great!


Blogger Name: Krystal Larson said...

Thank you for the chance to win! edysicecreamlover18@gmailDOTcom GFC Krystal Larson

Ricki said...

Sounds very intriguing.

Darlene said...

Please enter me in the draw, and thanks for the giveaway!

darlenesbooknook at gmail dot com
GFC Darlene

Disqus for Close Encounters with the NIght Kind


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